Thursday, April 14, 2011
The Life of an Insomniac
Tiredness some people think of this as I didn't sleep well last night cause I was up late studying or playing video games. These people don't know what really being tired is about. Being tired is not sleeping well for 4 months that is when you can say you are truly tired. That is my life for the last 6 months. I have had diagnosed insomnia for the past 6 months and that means sleeping if I am lucky 2 hours a night. I feel blessed if I get 5 hours and even that will only happen maybe once every two weeks. It is probably the most frustrating thing I have ever had to deal with it makes you want to just give up some days. You get a little burst of energy everyday mine usually comes about 3 in the afternoon and can last for about 3 hours and then you pretty much crash. You feel almost like the walking dead and you just don't compute things that people say to you. That is why school is so hard. It is hard when people say just wake up or just go to sleep at night or think I am faking the whole thing just to get out of school work but they have no idea how hard it is to get out of bed everyday. I am thankful for many teachers and people who are supportive and understanding of what I am going through. I am going to a therapist to try to maybe relive the stress that I have because maybe that is keeping me from sleeping but so far no results. I have tried so many different sleeping pills and none of them help at all. You are just exhausted all the time and by the end of each week you have absolutely nothing left. The scariest moments I have had while having insomnia is driving and I fell asleep at the wheel and went off the road luckily not hurting myself at all. The other was in the fall when I was really depressed and I actually thought about ending it all for a little while luckily I pulled through. Life is hard to deal with at this point but I have to keep pushing through and doing the things that keep me going which are sports, family and friends. These are really the only reasons I get out of bed everyday.
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I completely understand this. I don't go to school..ever. Because I can't sleep, and you get in this vicious cycle of energy and then being drained immediately after. My burst of energy is normally at 3 am, which is such an annoying time to be energetic because it isn't like I can do anything about it, or act on it. Overall I understand your frustration and it makes it even worse because there is nothing you can do to fix it. It's so annoying when people try to tell you it's because of coffee, or because you don't go out enough. I've sworn off coffee before, and worked out every day, and this only adds to the exhaustion - yet I still don't sleep. People who haven't been there don't understand how much this affects your attitude and your schooling. It's beyond frustrating, and I feel your pain!
ReplyDeleteomg, I totally understand this too..
ReplyDeleteI am constantly tired but by the time I should be going to sleep, I can't. I get the same things as what shannon says, like people tell me it is because I have a lot of caffine and because I can't sit still long enough to even get asleep, it's not true.. I guess some people apperently just don't sleep. :|
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ReplyDeleteWow, I feel your pain and I relate to it a little. I heard an author on CBC radio interviewed. She began to have sleepless nights. When she researched it she found that a huge percentage of the population has some kind of sleep disorder. She wrote a book about it.
ReplyDeleteI have always slept really well, except for those nights when I had a lot on my mind-and I solved that by simply learning not to worry about something I had no control over. It's wasted energy. If there's no solution, then just - let- go.
I can relate because I had a sore neck that ached more when I lay down and that had me up at 3 a.m. checking my email. Luckily I have solved the problem for now.
It seems that sleep disorders are very common. One thing you can do is not let it stress you out- instead relax into it. More strees is what you don't need. If you can't solve it now, try accepting it. I hope you enjoy your evening...